Tag: worship

“You can do all things
You can do all things but fail
‘Cause You’ve never lost a battle
No, You’ve never lost a battle
And I know, I know
You never will” – Elevation Worship

I recently had a friend ask me how I felt about worship music. I explained that music is in my soul. Honestly, it is what helps me thrive. The morning she asked me this I had chosen to listen to worship music on the way to work, instead of a sermon like I usually do. I had been crying for most of my journey and had to force myself to get out of my car and walk away from the song that was currently playing. As I walked into the office we shared, I heard her playing worship music. This isn’t usually the norm so it was amazing to see the Holy Spirit moving in both of us on this same morning. 

This friend has been a life preserver for me over the past few months. She and I have had rich, Spirit-filled conversations almost every day that we have spent together.  It is amazing watching God give you the people and put you in the places that you didn’t know you needed. I know He has given me these gifts because He knew I needed time to heal and He knew who I needed to help me with that. Through our discussions, the sermons I have had the chance to listen to, the scripture I have been diving into on my own, my close group of sisters in Christ, and, of course, our church family and the journey we have been on together under Joel’s leadership have given me new insight into Who God is.

In this healing, I’ve learned new things that I didn’t learn when I went through the healing of losing Keren. Then, I saw that God’s love for me was endless and the hope I have in Him is greater than anything on this earth. This time, I’ve learned that in His infinite wisdom, He IS in control. Everything that happens is in God’s will and is for His glory and His purpose. 

Sometimes that is a hard pill to swallow. I want to be in control. I want to know what is going to happen. I want to have a say in what comes next and how things should be. That has been a huge issue for me over the past year. To the point that not being allowed to have a say in any of these things made me think that God had abandoned me.

It hurts to confess that. I’ve already repented and asked God to forgive me, but still, that I could even think that after ALL that He has delivered me through. And, yet, I started to believe it. 

But then God.

There He came to my rescue. Not to rescue me from my worldly strife, but from myself. My flesh, my grieving heart, my foolishness, my pride. 

This past Christmas season I experienced a peace that I have NEVER experienced before. It was this true understanding that:

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ² He was with God in the beginning. ³ Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. ⁴ In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. ⁵ The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:1-5

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

God never loses a battle. We might say that when bad things happen it is Satan’s fault. But, in reality, Satan cannot defeat God. That means that God allows those bad things to happen. This is because, “¹⁶ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷ Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” Romans 8:16-17

And here is the thing that I forgot. This is the scripture I have on a picture of Keren. And, yet, I had to be broken so that I would believe it. ”³⁷ …in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39

This Wednesday, January 17, 2024, Keren would be celebrating her 10th birthday. This birthday is hitting me harder than the others have. It’s a big one – the move into double digits. The transition from little kid to big kid. And the memories of her that I have won’t translate into who she would’ve been. But, she was never meant to live to be 10. God designed her to bless us for 3 1/2 years and that is all. It was His plan for her life and death to be the catalyst for numerous people to find their way to Him. The #1 person being me. He loves me that much. That He would allow my suffering so I would be a conqueror and understand His love more deeply. 

It seems like such an oxymoron – we must suffer to experience His fullness. However, our understanding is extremely limited. So, the things that we must endure, whether physical, emotional, spiritual, are all to bring us to a closer relationship with Him. And in that, we can REJOICE! Because He has proven He is a promise keeper.

This is how He gives us our faith. 

He honors the covenant He has made with us, and we can put our full trust in Him. 

Because He never loses.