Good to Me

Psalm 13

“But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.  I will sing the Lord’s praise, for He has been good to me.” Psalm 13:5-6 – from my cousin, Kaylee

The first four verses of this Psalm cry out to God – Why am I suffering?  Why can’t I be relieved? Why must I go through this? How long, Lord?  Answer me, Lord, or I will be defeated!

This is how I have felt many days since the accident.  I know I felt like this at times before the accident but the magnitude of the devastation dwarfs all my prior troubles.  I sat holding Phoebe in my arms a few nights ago as she cried because she missed Keren and I looked in the mirror over her shoulder.  I stared in the face I have looked at all my life and wondered why on earth this had to happen to me.  How am I the one that had to suffer like this?  The thing I always feared came true and it broke me.  

Now I live knowing that God’s unfailing love keeps me together.  All the broken pieces that laid shattered on the floor have been put back in place.  But this time, I’m a new creation.  One who has known deep, deep grief and who can find great, great joy.  

I heard this song for the first time at the benefit concert held in our honor one month after the accident.  It blew me away.  Not just because of how great the song is, but because I could sing it with absolute certainty.  My God has saved me and I will sing His praise because He has been good to me.