July 25, 2017
In Gaelic, the name Kelly means – Warrior…
Saturday night, while sitting with my brother, sister-in-law, and cousins, I was explaining to them how I feel like a part of me has broken off and fallen away. The goofy, silly, fun-loving girl I used to be is not where I can find her. I can enjoy moments of happiness when I am around others. I told them how in my quiet times, though, I don’t feel like the same person anymore and it scares me. My sister-in-law asked me if I should be scared of it or embrace it. Immediately I told her I was scared, but her question clung to me. I began to contemplate it and seek God’s answer to it.
The next morning, before we began worship, the word “warrior” came to me. I felt peace with this word. Then we began singing and it felt like song after song was about victory and one song even had the word warrior in it. Then Joel got up to speak and in his message he talked about how suffering helps us see who God wants us to be. It gets us to the person He created. That’s when I remembered what my name means. I know my parents gave me that name but I’ve always loved it’s meaning. I’ve always considered myself strong, maybe not confident, but strong. But I had no idea just how strong God created me to be. God created me to be a warrior for Him. This is something I can embrace!
Right now, the war I have to fight is the darkness inside myself. Joel helped me understand that when I was talking to him about this. But once that has been defeated, I will seek to fight for justice in this world. That does not mean I will fight for worldly rights or go after criminals or wrongdoers. I will shine His light so that the darkness in others will be defeated as well. I want to use what God has shown me to help others fight their battles.
This is what God is showing me in my sufferings. This is who God created me to be. What about you? Who is God turning you into through your sufferings? Are you allowing Him to use you or are you fighting Him because you need someone to be angry with? He is not your enemy, He is your creator and knows you better than you know yourself. I will find my joy again because I’m not going to let the enemy win. Then I will use it to be God’s WARRIOR!!!
Ephesians 6:11-17
Fighting Fire with Light 