September 13, 2017
On our ride to school yesterday morning we watched the clouds move across the sky. It was amazing because they were moving in the wrong direction. We knew they were from Hurricane Irma and I had just looked at the weather map earlier that morning and seen where the storm was raging over Arkansas. All I could think about as I watched those fast-moving clouds move in the wrong direction is how those same clouds had been over Florida and the islands and caused so much destruction and that this was just an arm of the storm that spread all the way down to Arkansas. I saw God’s enormity in that moment. Not because of how big the storm was but knowing that He is so much bigger.
I haven’t posted an update like this in a while. Mainly because school started back and I haven’t had time to turn around, but God keeps putting it on my heart that I need to share what He’s been doing for me.
With the beginning of school, there have been a lot of knew emotions that I wasn’t prepared for. This summer, when I was home and able to focus on our situation, I had time to work through my thoughts, but that hasn’t been the case now that I’m so busy, and I’ve been feeling myself fading fast.
At first, I welcomed the distraction. But now that I’ve been in school for awhile, depression has started setting in. Grief comes when I least expect it and I don’t have the time to work through it. It’s been affecting my relationships and my well-being.
But this past Sunday morning, God forced me to spend time with Him. While at church, I went out to stroll around the church cemetery. This is not where our loved ones are buried but it is a place where I have felt anxiety, before the accident, because I was scared of losing someone I loved. Now that it has happened I found it to be a place of comfort. God walked with me that morning and told me that loss is a part of this life and that we have to lose everything on this earth to gain Heaven. He also reminded me that He experienced loss too but the death He endured brought salvation to me.
I get to see Him one day! I get to be made perfect one day! My sins are forgiven! I will be in His presence! And I will get to see my baby girl again! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
Fighting Fire with Light 